文／蓮生活佛 盧勝彥
我人在「葉子湖」隱居閉關，逢大病劫，腦分八瓣，四大分散，命如遊絲一般。
人的死亡前，頭頂如山壓。
呼吸急促，如水塞住鼻孔。
全身如火焚烤，煎熬無止。
每一個器官產生痛覺，如冰風吹拂，寒顫不已。
死亡前之苦，如果不是有大「定」力，很難穩得住，要一心不亂的念佛，仍然不是易事，這要靠平時的「三昧」之力，才能定下心，脫此軀殼而去。
我在極端的痛苦之中，命如遊絲之時，急念「阿彌陀佛」，自覺快沒命了，頓見眼前有異光，注目凝視，看見光中坐一「阿彌陀佛」，放光三度，使我清涼一些。
然而，清涼不久，其「地」、「水」、「火」、「風」之苦又迫了過來，這種苦，真叫我「哀爸叫母」，這種苦，真的不是一般人所能忍受的，我實實在在的告訴大家，這種「死前苦」，真不是人能忍受的，怪不得佛說也有「死苦」啊！
我就是在這命如遊絲時，入了「三昧」，出了「中陰身」，寫下了《度過生死的大海》這本書。
我入「三昧」，出「中陰」，見到了八大菩薩—「觀世音菩薩、文殊菩薩、普賢菩薩、地藏王菩薩、彌勒菩薩、虛空藏菩薩、金剛手菩薩、除蓋障菩薩。」
八大菩薩一起來護著我，完成這一項任務。
自從我經歷這一場大病劫後，色身就弱了些，但，色身雖弱，三昧力增強，我發覺人殼反而是一種障礙，如果沒有人殼，反而更自由自在，十方三世都可去得，更自主，更自知，更明白，更能度化眾生。
這是我想拋棄人殼的原因。
人殼留否？
人殼不留否？
我正在認真的考慮。
我當然知道弟子們都希望我長住世間（請佛住世），但，我留世間，尚有何事？
When Life is Hanging by a Thread
Written by Living Buddha Lian-sheng, Sheng-yen Lu
Translated by Cheng Yew Chung
Edited by Jason Yu
Proofread by Lufang Hsiung
www.tbtts.org
During my retreat at Leaf Lake, I became very ill at one stage, where my brain was spiritually split into eight parts and the four elements of my body were scattered, where I found my life was literally hanging by a thread.
When a person is near death, his head feels like a mountain is weighing down on it.
His breathing becomes short, and feels as if water is blocking his nasal passageway.
His whole body burns like fire, and the torment seems endless.
All of his internal organs are in pain, as if a freezing cold wind is blowing through, whose tremblings seem endless.
The suffering that you endure prior to death is so overbearing that unless you have great concentration power, it would be difficult to keep yourself calm. It is extremely challenging to chant the Buddha’s name single-mindedly, as it requires the power of samadhi drawn from your daily practice before you could calm down, and leave the physical body in peace.
As my life was hanging by a thread, where I found myself in excruciating pain, I quickly chanted the name of Amitabha Buddha, fearing my life had come to an end. I suddenly saw an unusual light appearing before my eyes and as I stared at the light, I saw Amitabha Buddha seated within. He radiated light at me three times, which relieved me of my suffering for a short moment.
Yet the relief was short-lived and soon the suffering that arose from the elements of earth, water, fire and wind was forced upon me, and I found myself crying and screaming amid the pain. Such unbearable suffering is really not something that people could tolerate, and I am honestly telling you that the suffering prior to death is truly unbearable. It is no wonder that the Buddha had spoken about the suffering of death.
It was during this period where my life was hanging by a thread that I entered into samadhi and moved into the bardo body, where I would eventually pen the book Crossing the Ocean of Life and Death.
When I entered into my samadhi and emerged in the bardo, I saw the eight major bodhisattvas, namely Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, Manjushri Bodhisattva, Samantabhadra Bodhisattva, Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva, Maitreya Bodhisattva, Akasagarbha Bodhisattva, Vajrapani Bodhisattva and Nivaranaviskambin Bodhisattva [also called Hindrance-Removing Bodhisattva].
The eight bodhisattvas had come for my protection and to help me accomplish my mission.
Ever since I had gone through this major ordeal, my physical body had become weakened, but my power of samadhi had increased. I found that the physical shell is really a hindrance and if the human shell is absent, I would be completely free and unhindered, traveling at will to the worlds of the ten directions and three times, where I can gain greater self mastery, greater self awareness, greater understanding, and can deliver even more sentient beings.
This is the reason why I had planned to abandon my human shell. Should I keep this human body? Should I abandon my human body? I am seriously considering this option.
I am fully aware that my disciples hope to see me stay longer in this world (beseech the Buddha to stay), but the question is, what else is there for me to do in this world?
